I wanna talk about the first time I felt really loved. For me, it’s more on a repetitive basis I feel like. I think it was when Chadsen and I were dating, maybe about a year into it. I actually came from a family that basically, to put it short, I don’t feel like I knew what it was to really be loved. It was just an extremely dysfunctional family, my parents divorced maybe a year after I got married, and my brother got deported.
It was just a huge mess, and so when I met Chadsen, he was like the polar opposite of my parents. He was extremely loving from the very beginning, and I think the first time I felt really loved by him, it was a time when I was having a huge breakdown. I get a lot of anxiety, and I think it was a time where there was just so much chaos in my family.⠀
And my mind was nuts, I was just so emotionally unstable. I was angry, I was crying. I was getting anxiety attacks. I was constantly thinking, “He’s judging me, he’s judging me, I can’t control myself, I’m going nuts,” and I remember he hugged me, he just told me, “I accept you for how you are and I love you for that,” and it wasn’t just once like that, we’ve been married for about four and a half years and it’s just constantly repeating like that.
Yes, I still get my anxiety attacks and all these mood swings and I get nervous about everything, but he always encourages me to do what I want to pursue in life. There have been so many times where it’s literally just like that. He just takes me in his arms and says, 'I still love you, I love you how you are.'"⠀
Pentax 645n -400TX+2 - Find Lab
Welcome to the Love Project. I give someone 3 prompts to choose from (all relating to love), they answer one prompt, and I photograph them (with b&w film) while they answer. Come back every week for a new story of love. If you would like to participate in this project, and I really hope you do, then email me at photographyhill@gmail.com to set something up.